又做了男朋友出轨的梦,与以往不同的是,特别真实,也记得特别清楚,醒了这么久感觉心还是很疼。
说一说梦吧,他通过我认识了我的研究生同学,一开始我就发现了女孩的不对劲,有意无意的往他身上蹭,果然他没有经受住诱惑,上钩了。
我看了他们的聊天记录,和撩骚没什么区别,好多成年人的话题,碰面的时候也开始暧昧,在我面前开始眉目传情,也有肢体接触,我看到了他刚开始和我在一起的害羞、局促的样子,女孩则撒着娇让他帮忙,一副我是绿茶我怕谁的样子,我站在旁边,感觉自己是局外人,大脑嗡嗡作响,不知所措,我还想着在人前给他留一丝情面。
在回家的路上,他拒绝开车送我回学校,我彻底爆发了,在马路上歇斯底里,大喊大叫,不顾旁人眼光,我打了他好多个巴掌,我骂他没有人性,怎么能这样对我,他执意的告诉我,他真的喜欢别人,要和别人在一起了。我用指甲划破了他的脸,很长的一道口子,然后我返回,找到女孩,让她自重,也打了好几个巴掌,他一直都想保护她,看他为她紧张的样子真刺激,想和女孩说些什么,女孩甩开他的手走了,我看他蹲下抱着头痛苦的样子,可笑又解恨,失去了一个爱了他好久的人,也失去了一个让他有新鲜感的人,最后我还是决定毁了他,我把他们的聊天记录到处传播,发给所以我们共同认识的人。后续不知道了,因为心脏疼醒了。
如果真有这样的事,我都不会理论吧,直接走人就好了,我这么好,不愁嫁,是他配不上我的好而已。
回归现实,现在他还在呼呼大睡等他醒来我还是会把这个梦告诉他,还是会抱怨,会告诉他我受委屈了。
很多时候,梦都是无厘头的,但是有时候也是生活状态的投影,上个月忙忙碌碌,压力不小,也发生了很多事,所以这个梦倒不如说是预谋很久的事,只是体面分开,无关出轨。
也是通过这个梦,我意识到了其实我好多地方做得不够好,我们互相深爱,这已经是这个快餐式爱情时代中最为珍贵的了,他是很直的男生,也挺好的,至少单纯,脾气易燃易爆炸,性情中人。其他的我真没什么可挑剔,对我很好,把我的学习生活也照顾得很好。
和我在一起之后,他做出了好多改变,而我还是在比较,总觉得他是进步了好多,可是他现在的状态还不如有些男生刚谈恋爱的状态,一开始就是暖男,一开始就会做一个会控制好自己情绪的成熟男人 。
我忽略了,他就是他,他和我在一起应该是他最真实的样子,因为我应该是他最信任的人,毫无保留的人,他不好的地方我应该更有耐心一点,我是陪着他长大的人,而不是总在责怪他,怎么还不长大。
是我在这段时间给我们的感情留了退路,这个梦倒是让我清醒了很多,我也以为,我可以全身而退,因为我原本就是个洒脱的人,才做个梦而已,我在梦里像个疯子一样。还是会放不下,一起经历了那么多美好,一起为对方做了那么多事,有那么多快乐、回忆。
还是决定勇敢,发生过得不愉快,好好解决问题,没有原则性的问题还是会好好的在一起。
啊哈哈哈哈哈,梦里他的出轨对象会不会就是之前的我,不会吧,我没有那么瘦,并且我没有那么绿茶,嘤嘤怪,更不会勾搭有男朋友的人,眼神都不会给好不好,我可是个正直的好孩子。
大清早的,记录一波,心情也平复了。
睡个回笼觉。
早安,起床的人们。
~
Did boyfriend cheating dream again, and the past is different, especially true, also remember particularly clear, wake up so long feeling heart is still very painful.
Talking about the dream, he met my graduate student classmate through me. At the beginning, I found something wrong with the girl. I rubbed against him intentionally or unintentionally.
I watched their chat logs, and liao SAO makes no difference, the topic of a lot of adults, meet also begin to ambiguity, in front of me started to flirt, also have physical contact, I saw him first and I together of the appearance of the shy, awkward, girl with charming let him help, a pair of green tea, I afraid of who is I like, I stand beside, feel like an outsider, Brain buzzing, overwhelmed, I still want to give him in front of people to save a little affection.
On the way home, he refused to drive me back to school, I completely broke out, hysterical in the street, Shouting, ignoring the eyes of others, I slapped him many times, I called him inhuman, how could he do this to me, he insisted that he really liked someone else, and should be with someone else. I scratched his face with his nails, a long line of cut, and then I came back, found a girl, let her self-respect, also played for slap, he always wanted to protect her, to see him for the way she's nervous is exciting, what want to and the girl said, girl off his hand away, I see the way he squatted down holding the head pain, goofy, and lost a loved his people for a long time, And I lost someone who made him feel fresh, so I decided to destroy him, and I circulated their chat logs to everyone we knew. Don't know the follow-up, because the heart pain woke up.
If there is such a thing, I will not theory, just walk away, I am so good, not worry about marrying, is he does not deserve my good.
Back to reality. Now he's still sleeping and when he wakes up I'm still gonna tell him about the dream, or I'm gonna complain, or I'm gonna tell him that I was wronged.
Most of the time, dreams are gratuitous, but sometimes it is also the projection of the state of life, last month was busy, pressure is not small, also happened a lot of things, so this dream is rather premeditated for a long time, just a decent separation, not cheating.
We love each other deeply, which is the most precious thing in this era of fast food love. He is a very straight boy, and he is also very good. At least, he is simple, and his temper is flammable and explosive. Other I really have nothing to be picky, very good to me, my study life also take good care of.
With me, he made a lot of changes, and I still compare, always feel that he is a lot of progress, but he is not as good as some boys just fall in love with the state, at the beginning is a warm man, at the beginning will do a will control their emotions of mature man.
I ignored that he is him, he and I should be his most real appearance, because I should be the person he trusts most, without reservation, his bad place I should be more patient, I am with him to grow up, rather than always blame him, why not grow up.
Is I in this period of time to our feelings left a retreat, the dream is let me awake a lot, I also think, I can get out, because I was a free and easy person, just a dream, I in the dream like a madman. Still can not put down, experienced so much good together, together for each other to do so many things, there are so many happy, memories.
Or decide to be brave, have a bad time, solve the problem, no problem of principle or good together.
I'm not that thin, and I don't have that green tea. I wouldn't hook up with anyone who has a boyfriend. I wouldn't give you a good look.
Early in the morning, record a wave, the mood is also calm.
Take a nap.
Good morning, people who get up.
~
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