前日在去伦敦的火车上,随身带了《理智与情感》。这本书我已看至第一卷的最后一章,情节发展大概如下:书中的女主角之一Elinor Dashwood(“理智”的代表)与远亲Edward Ferrars订婚。Edward虽倾情于她,与她交往却显得不冷不热,且精神常常萎靡不振。Elinor的家人虽对Edward颇有微词,尤其Elinor的亲妹妹Marriane(“情感”的代表)更认为Edward是个了无生趣的人,但Elinor依然以理智保持着对Edward极大的尊重和对婚约极大的忠诚。当然,她也是爱Edward的。正在此时,她和她的家人偶然通过熟人结识了一对姓Steeles的姐妹。这对姐妹没有受过多少教育,品位不高,但对Elinor等尊敬有加,其中的妹妹Lucy更是经常找机会与Elinor粘在一起。一次,Lucy与Elinor外出散步,突然向她打听Edward母亲的情况。这使Elinor大为吃惊,因为她压根就想不到Lucy与Edward一家会有什么联系。Lucy吞吞吐吐了很久,才告诉Elinor她自己和Edward私订终身早已四年。Elinor此时的心情难以言表——
What felt Elinor at that moment? Astonishment, that would have been as painful as it was strong, had not an immediate disbelief of the assertion attended it. She turned towards Lucy in silent amazement, unable to divine the reason or object of such a declaration, and though her complexion varied, she stood firm in incredulity and felt in no danger of an hysterical fit, or a swoon.
读到这里,我的心不禁一紧,连连感叹Jane Austen刻画人物心理的入木三分。此情此景与我曾几何时的经历是多么相似!在那一瞬间,整个人都似乎被霹雳一般的意外击中。但是在那个时候,理智仍然忠诚地支撑着面容和身躯的宁静……
随后,当Elinor慢慢地反应过来之后,她仍然怀着一丝的希望,再三向Lucy确认是不是她指错了人。然而,Lucy破灭了她的希望。她不仅向Elinor言之凿凿地确定他就是那个她爱的Edward,并且还向Elinor展示了藏在自己衣袋里的Edward肖像和Edward亲笔写给她的情书。随着这些无可辩驳的证据被依次搬出,痛苦也在一点一点地咬噬Elinor的内心。然而在这个时候,Lucy却在求她帮忙。她告诉Elinor,Edward的母亲是不同意这门亲事的,因此她要Elinor为她保守秘密——
“I certainly did not seek your confidence,” said Elinor; “but you do me no more than justice in imagining that I may be depended on. Your secret is safe with me.”
可怜的Elinor!可敬的Elinor!在这个时候,她本来完全可以借着这个要害,把此事闹得满城风雨,这样Edward就不会是Lucy的了,她就可以趁此把他抢过来。然而她成全了情敌。她依然忠诚地尽到一个朋友的责任,把爱的希望留给情敌……
在Elinor的包容下,Lucy的话匣子打开了。她喋喋不休地向Elinor倾诉这四年来她和Edward是在忍受着怎样的相思之苦。她说她身边没有一个人可以帮她出策解忧,包括她自己的姐姐。因为她姐姐是个没有头脑的人,除了添乱什么都不会。而Elinor的理智和品格则让她觉得可以信任——
“I was afraid you would think I was taking a great liberty with you,” said she, “in telling you all this. I have not known you long to be sure, personally at least, but I have known you and all your family by description a great while; and as soon as I saw you, I felt almost as if you was an old acquaintance.”
我不知道该说什么好了,因为类似——不,就是几乎相同的事情,就发生在我身上。我像Elinor一样,本能地为她提供了建议和帮助,甚至不假思索就这样做了,连给自己回味痛苦的时间都没留下……
Fortunately for her, they had now reached the cottage, and the conversation could be continued no farther. After sitting with them a few minutes, the Miss Steeles returned to the Park, and Elinor was then at liberty to think and be wretched.
那个晚上,我就是这样度过的。
好在,我的故事已经结束了。一切已成往事。
而Elinor的故事呢?我还要到书中去寻找。
我希望她幸福。我知道她会幸福。
可能我的回答达不到你要求,不过我好列出关系表